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‘Please don’t turn me away’: Ben Vernon on seeking help post-stabbing

Part 2 — San Diego Fire-Rescue Captain Ben Vernon shares his journey from darkness to feeling “lighter, better” after therapy and EMDR

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Editor’s note: This episode includes descriptions of violence and suicidal ideation that may be triggering for some, as well as explicit language. Please listen with caution. Suicide is always preventable. If you are having thoughts of suicide or feeling suicidal, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline immediately at 988. Counselors are also available to chat at www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org. Remember: You deserve to be supported, and it is never too late to seek help. Speak with someone today.


For months after being stabbed on the job – a “routine” medical call gone wrong – Ben Vernon was in a world of hurt, unable to sleep due to constant nightmares, barred from talking to his crew about the incident due to the impending criminal trial, and even experiencing suicidal ideation. Vernon shares the triggers that rocked him as well as the moment he knew he needed to seek help. He explains how he found a therapist who understood what he was going through and ultimately used eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) to realign his logic and emotions. Today, Vernon feels “lighter, better” and travels the country speaking out his experience and advocating for mental health awareness, resources and treatment.

(ICYMI, in Part 1, Vernon offers a detailed play by play of the incident, from his initial complacency and the rapid escalation of the call to his emotional recollection of seeing his wounded partner and being rushed to a local hospital.)

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